Your discomfort for the benefit of others is not healthy for either of you.

I am no longer the “perfect woman”.

Like a bee running towards honey, the need of others called out to me. When someone wanted anything from me I was compelled to provide it. Otherwise, they would not want to be with me. When students asked me for help with their homework I would comply even if I was too tired. When colleagues asked me for lunch I would comply even though I did not like the food choice or the restaurant.

I was convinced that to deserve love, you have to please others.

So I worked hard at getting people to like me.

This is like the bee running towards the honey. I jumped at any chance to give what I can like the bee can’t wait to get the sweetness.

But then, wait a minute. This isn’t sweet. It is horrible. I’m drowning in here. I feel used, become resentful and angry.

And I blamed everybody for taking advantage of me. Why is everybody using me? Why does everyone take and take more from me? Why does everyone end up betraying me?

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To your inspirations,

Banchi