Relationships

These 9 Cognitive Distortions Might Be Ruining Your relationship

And ways to counteract these distortions. One of my boyfriend’s friend has an internal labyrinth, a maze, and a torturous arrangement he made with himself. He is convinced every woman will sooner or later leave him. He is terrified he will end up stranded, abandoned, and alone.  This belief taints his relationships.  He is aloof, …

Black women

Women Are Still Judged Harshly for Being Emotional

We don’t have to self-censor, edit, and apologize for expressing our emotions. Perhaps we judge women for being emotional because we suppress our emotions. Perhaps we inhibit women from expressing their emotions because we were not allowed to do so ourselves. Perhaps we fear the emotional intensity of seeing someone express their emotions – especially …

Work and Careers

The Forks in Your Road Can Take On Magical Significance in Your Life

Turning points have the power to transform our lives. We all have pivotal moments that flip our world upside down and cause us to panic. Maybe your boyfriend left you for another woman. Now what? Or, you just lost your job — what’s next? You wonder, “Where do I go from here?” One of my …

Relationships

Loving Someone Does Not Give Us the License To Control That Person

4 signs you may have control issues in your relationship. Love thrives when you take someone you love exactly as they are and you communicate who you are clearly and honestly so they can do the same for you. This is the paradox of love: You can’t control another person’s behavior. One of my friend’s …

Work and Careers

It’s Possible To Have a Full-time Job and Have a Full-Personal Life

6 ways you can make the most of your time to balance work and personal life. If tomorrow is my last day on earth, my life would still be full – I have friends, family, and a rich personal life I cultivated through the years.  I had no personal life a few years back, though. …

Self

7 Better Questions To Ask People That Go Deeper Than “How Are You?”

On how to have deep conversations — not just exchange pleasantries. Put yourself in a moment where you were not fine. Maybe you were terrible, and maybe you were too good to be true. And you said, “I’m fine. Thank you.” Put yourself back in that moment when you lied. Why did you do it? …

Relationships

You Deserve a Relationship That Stretches You, Instead of Withering You

Don’t diminish you in the name of making room for your relationship. “The best relationships of any kind — romantic or otherwise — are the ones that encourage us, expand us, inspire us, rather than the ones that shrink, contain, diminish, entrap or shackle us.” –Dushka Zapata We deserve a relationship that stretches us instead …

Uncategorized

Ira Glass’s Advice to Help You Fight Your Way to Master Any Skill

When the level of your skill disappoints you, keep showing up. It was 2015 and my first day to teach a class of 50 adult students. On this particular day, I was hoping to deliver a good public speech. After all, I’ve been practicing in front of a mirror on how to stand in front …

Work and Careers

5 Awful Pieces of Career Advice People With A Happy Career Ignore

#1. Find a “real job” These awful career advices are like a powerful magnet that warps your belief about your career. They guide you to a career path you don’t like, but others want you to like. I know this from personal experience. They told me to find a “real job” when I told them …