4 tips that can help you.

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Imagine you have lived your whole life in a warm environment. And now you are forced to live in an opposite environment.

The big problem you will encounter when you try to live in the new environment is how to live. And how to get used to this cold, cold environment.

● You have to learn how to get used to being cold all the time and to adjust to the physical discomfort.

● You might even be physically ill when you are trying to get used to this uncomfortable, new environment.

● The cold might even make you feel lethargic especially if you are not prepared.

Solution?

Do something that inches you closer to being comfortable to live in a cold environment.

These something’s could be:

● Getting out in the cold (being in the shoes of those people who have lived for years in the cold environment is the best way to be one of them)

● Taking cold showers (starting small is the best way of accomplishing anything from a simple task to a daunting endeavor)

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My analogy interpretation:

● Living comfortably in a warm environment = Living comfortably with shyness

● Being forced to leave the warm environment and live in the cold one = Leaving shyness and getting started with being confident

Tell me:

Why do most people find it hard to become confident?

Because they have been living in that environment for so long, hence it has become home.

Why do I know this?

Because I have learned the hard way, becoming depressed many times when I was a teenager. I was not confident like that girl or outgoing like that classmate of mine.

This advice will give you hope.

Before you start your journey to leave your shyness behind, know that it is OK to be shy.

My personal example.

There have been many times in my life where I have been fighting with overcoming shyness.

For example, back when I was a teenager, I would not hang out with friends because I was afraid of talking with them. So, I preferred silence.

Another time was while I was in social interaction, I preferred my books rather than talk to people. In high school, I preferred playing Chess than any other sport, because I was not required to be engaged with lots of people.

Fast forward …. to the present time.

I am now a sought-out public speaker who gives trainings on personal development.

Here are the 4 tips that helped me:

1. Change your attitude from adverse to a positive one

If you think and believe in the negative outcome of things, you won’t be able to build on your strengths.

In my above analogy where you are forced to live in a cold environment, tell me how you are going to live if these are your thoughts you frequently thought on:

● I can’t leave in this cold environment.

● I won’t be able to live one day in these surroundings.

● I won’t be able to ….

With such thoughts, progress is impossible.

Combat every one of your negative thoughts by maintaining positive ones such as:

‘I will learn to be confident’, ‘I am strong’, ‘I will get there’.

2. Face your fears

You are afraid of hanging out with friends? Go and meet them.

You are afraid of voicing your thoughts? Speak up at the next opportunity.

You are afraid of social interactions? Go to a social gathering.

Just like getting out in the cold makes my body to get used to the unfamiliar, cold environment, facing my fears will make me overcome them slowly, bit by bit.

3. Learn to take every day as a path that takes you to the best confident version of you

If you are serious about becoming confident, do something every day that brings you closer to your destination.

Here are some ways to have daily habits that will help you in becoming confident:

● Change your appearance. How you look has an impact on how you feel.

● Start observing your body language. What is your body’s language when you are with a dear friend? It is relaxed and inviting, is it not? Try to copy that posture when you are with other people.

● Observe your internal thoughts. Start listening to what you say to yourself. If you listen to yourself, you will start to observe whether you are overly critical of yourself or not.

Once you start consciously listening, you will be able to halt these negative thoughts before they go further.

4. Focus on being confident

When you think about something all day, every day, that thing will have your whole attention.

If you think and obsess about your shyness all the time, you will have no time to improve on it.So, change your focus.

I did.

● I changed my focus from being angry with my inability to express myself to finding out ways to express myself.

● I changed my focus from my fear to finding out methods to voice my thoughts.

While I was busy making myself confident, I had no time to focus on my shyness.

These quotes sum up my point perfectly:

“The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.”Claudia Lady Bird Johnson

I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.” Oprah Winfrey

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To your inspirations,

Banchi