It has to do with why he has created his best-seller book.

Thirty-five years ago, I was one of the unhappiest lads in New York. I was selling motor-trucks for a living. I did not know what made a motor-truck run. That wasn’t all. I did not want to know. I despised my job.

I despised living in a cheap furnished room on West Fifty-Sixth Street — a room infested with cockroaches. I still remember that I had a bunch of neckties hanging on the walls; and when I reached out one morning to get a fresh necktie, the cockroaches scattered in all directions. I despised having to eat in cheap, dirty restaurants that were also probably infested with cockroaches.

That is taken from the best-seller book by Dale Carnegie. A book that was born out of pain. Out of despair. Out of dissatisfaction with life.

If you have ever felt disappointment, worry, and bitterness, you can relate. If you have this void in your heart because the dreams you had back in your college days had turned into nothing. If you constantly keep on asking,

‘Is this life? Is this the vital adventure to which you had looked forward so eagerly?’

If you dread your weekdays because you are working a job you despise and no hope for the future.

Take a lesson from Dale Carnegie who turned his pain into his greatest achievement. The man who wrote those heartfelt words could teach us a thing or two about pain. After all, his best-seller ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ was born out of his pain.

He knew he had everything to gain and nothing to lose by giving up the job he despised. He wasn’t interested in making a lot of money. He wanted his life to have meaning. He came to that moment of decision which faces all of us when we can no longer keep on doing the same thing that does not put a light on our heart.

He made a decision. To give up the work he loathed. And he started making a living teaching adult classes in night schools.

The pain of dissatisfaction in his life led to the change that altered his future. For over 50 years the rock-solid, time-tested advice his best-seller has carried thousands of now-famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives.

Carnegie has written a phenomenal book on communication skills because he confronted his unhappiness of doing a job he did not like. He marched towards doing something about his life.

In the process of changing a career, he found out that his adult classes lacked something.

They wanted to communicate with each other in a better way. They wanted to be able to stand up, on their own feet and say a few words at a business meeting without fainting from fright. Some of his students were salespeople and they wanted to be able to call a tough customer without having to walk around the block three times to get up the courage.

Every one of his students lacked communication skills. Carnegie himself did not know about effective communication. He went to a library and researched the topic.

He created something good — something that was not there before — from facing what was not there.

As Carnegie said,

‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ grew and evolved out of the experience of the adults in my classes.

He never dreamed that his textbook — which was turned into a book later on– would have a large sale. He is probably one of the most astonished authors of all time.

Discomfort is the most valuable teacher.

A former boss has denied me a salary increase. Even though a few weeks before I asked for a raise, the company has nominated me for ‘the best Instructor of the year’.

I have been fired from a job without any viable reason.

Once, while I was cleaning out my room, I found old newspapers that made me stumble on the ground and cry. Why? Because I have written on these newspapers as a columnist years ago. I cringed when I looked at the year of publication in the newspapers. It was 10 years ago. That is how long I have abandoned my writing.

As Jessica Wildfire writes,

“Look at the art and music of any generation. A lot of it was made by someone working through their pain. What we offer the world often comes from a place of grief, sorrow, fear, dread, and longing.”

Do you know what does not teach you? Comfort. Safety. Because the voice inside your head tells you, you have grown the maximum level. You have seen it all. Heck, you are living your dream.

In this comfort zone, you pull yourself inside your comfort zone like a turtle pulling its head inside the shell. As long as you have this zone, you will not step forward.

But there is no progress without discomfort.

Although leaning into pain and facing it head-on may feel unsafe, it is the only way to save yourself.

A lot of what you hold onto is disguised as a feeling of safety. Even a sea of pain can feel safe when you know what to expect. But just because something feels safe doesn’t mean it is not slowly killing you.

The only real way to create your best-seller or your dream is to face your demons. To confront what you don’t like feeling. To ask yourself the hard questions. And face yourself even when you are not happy with the outcome you are seeing from your life.

If you aren’t happy on a deeper level, confront the problem head-on and work to resolve it. That is the difference between creating something from your pain versus self-sabotaging.

That is the difference between creating a best-seller like ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ and not creating it.

To your inspirations,

Banchi