An Exemplary Question

June 12, 2018 by Banchiwosen Woldeyesus

See, with your heart,

Not with your eyes.

To see the love,

Behind the work.

To see the man,

Behind the work.

_ See with your heart

Even though we are working together, I feel like they are not with me. Why? Because I am leading the team? Though we are working towards a common goal, I feel the difference around me. If anyone asks where the difference comes from, I won’t be able to pin point exactly. I just feel it in my gut. Don’t you feel sometimes that though the work is being done, something is missing behind? Perhaps a little enthusiasm in the team? Or a little extra work from the team with their own initiation? Or just a little extra something?

Because I feel like I am not fruitful in leading this new team, I decided to do something. I contacted the leader who was leading the team before me. I have heard very good things about him. Not only that, but the team is very hard working and intelligent as well. And most importantly they had and still have a wonderful relationship with their leader.

But what has happened? Where is that great personality trait that I have been hearing about? Or have I changed them? So, I met the leader who was before me and we discussed our work.

“How is your new team? And how is the project going?”

“The work is progressing according to the schedule, but I am not happy.”

“Why? What is the problem?”

“I am not sure where the problem lies.”

“What do you mean?”

“That is what I wanted to talk to you about, what has happened to the team?”

“What do you mean?”

“They are good at their work but they have no self-initiation or motivation. Where is the self-drive that I heard so much about?  I feel like I am missing something and I don’t know what that is.”

“Are you saying, they are not doing their job?”

“They do, what I ask them to do. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

“And you want more from them?”

“Yes, I do. I expect that.”

“Let me ask you something.”

“Go ahead”

“How is your relationship with each individual in your team? Is it good? If there is a problem, will they come and tell you about it?”

“No, that is what I am telling you. No one shares a thing with me. I don’t know whether they have a problem or not. I know that they are not happy with me. I feel it. And I also know that they were very happy with you. I hear your name mentioned all the time.”

“There is only one thing that I did constantly in every meeting that we held.”

“What is that thing?”

“I asked them to tell me, how I can help them achieve our goals.”

“What? Doesn’t that make you weak in their eyes?”

“No. You see, anybody who works makes a mistake. While they are doing their work, I show them their accomplishments and their mistakes. But if this is only one-sided, the root of your leadership is not deep. Why should I be an exception? Even though I am their leader, as long as I am working I make mistakes and I learn from others as well. I don’t want them to be afraid of me. Rather I want a two-way relationship where I can give what I have and they can ask anything of me. Make yourself part of the team, not an outsider. So create this relationship, ask them ‘how can I help you achieve our goals?’”

This is the best productive discussion I have with a predecessor.

So, perhaps our task as leader is to let our team ask us questions and to open a two-way relationship and when that is not working, to learn from others who have walked on the same path that we are walking on now.

                                                                                    “The reasonable man adopts himself to the conditions that surround him. The unreasonable man adapts the surrounding conditions to himself. All progress depends on the unreasonable man.” George Bernard Shaw