You won’t believe the benefits of having conversations at a coffee ceremony

July 3, 2018 by Banchi

Let us not be silent,

When we sit next to each other.

I have something to say,

You have something to say.

Why would we let silence win?

When we all have something to say.

                                    To feel.

                                    To share.

                                    To learn.

            _ Don’t let the unspoken concede

In my country Ethiopia we have a unique tradition where people gather together to drink coffee. The coffee is not instant coffee where we can find in any cafeteria. Rather it is uniquely prepared. It has processes and steps to follow for making it. It requires time to prepare it.

This traditional culture is seen in many homes of the country. It is not only in the capital city that we find this ceremony but in the countryside as well. Because the preparation takes time, people usually gather around till their coffee is ready.

This is when lots of conversations pass from one person to another and vice versa. These conversations are always there whenever there is a coffee ceremony.

The followings are the benefits of having inspirational conversations at a coffee ceremony:

1.      Experience in talking to one another

As coffee is a unique tradition in Ethiopia, the ceremony goes along with it. So it is most likely that every person in the country has been exposed to this tradition. Unconsciously people have developed talking at coffee ceremony gatherings. Every time a person gets involved in a conversation, he is developing a skill.

As more and more of these conversations continue, everyone involved would increase in conversational skills. The topic of discussion is irrelevant. It may vary upon the level of education or experience of the people involved in the conversations but some sort of conversation is always going on at a coffee ceremony at some place in the country. These conversations are inspirational to the entire communication process.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we openly talk with one another always like a good tradition?

2.      Active listening

We do not see this much active listening in many work places and families as we see in coffee conversations. If we could only communicate by actively listening without thinking of an answer, we would not have so much problems at homes and at work places.

At a coffee ceremony in Ethiopia, listening plays a great role in conversations. May be it is because people are not trying to win an argument there. They listen with the actual desire of trying to understand what the other person is saying.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we learn to listen in our homes? In work places? Wouldn’t it be pleasant if we get surprised when we get listened to in return?

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” Dr. Richard Alpert

3.      Clarity and simplicity

People of different background and experience gather around at a coffee ceremony. So, a person learns to change his talk and intonation depending on the situation and on the person sitting next to him on a particular time.

For example a well-educated man modulates his talk when he talks to a simple farmer.

Through this process, conversations become clarified and simplified.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we talk with our colleagues in a simplified manner?

4.      Identifying and understanding all emotions related to a given conversation

Anger, sadness, envy or jealousy can disrupt communication from sender to receiver and vice versa. This leads to conflicts on a daily basis. And yet, we see conversations misinterpreted and misunderstood in lots of work places and homes because we refuse to see and hear beyond ourselves.

In a coffee ceremony in Ethiopia, families talk to one another, colleagues talk to each other, neighbors share their stories, etc. Empathy is main part of these conversations. Voice intonations, body language and gestures are given their due attention. In these conversations people respond. They do not react. Through this process, they learn to keep their emotions.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we can use our communication to build trust with families, friends and colleagues by learning to relate emotions to a conversation?

 Information update

If people have a habit of talking to each other in whatever topic they want, they keep on getting informed on new things. They get additional information on old things. Their knowledge widens. So naturally information gets updated all the time and people get informed at the same time.

The tradition of coffee ceremony has created an environment to exchange information between people. If we can take this tradition to our work places, many of the grievances that happen due to lack of communication would not happen. If we can learn to exchange information between family members daily, silence would run out of our homes.

Wouldn’t it be nice if talking to each other on old things and new things daily becomes natural to us?

    Be open to feedback

Because listening plays a great role in these conversations, naturally being listened to follows. In an environment where message goes both ways, one almost always gets feedback.

The feedback could be positive or negative. That is irrelevant. The important thing is the atmosphere has allowed the person to get feedback.

Wouldn’t it be nice if in addition to being listened to, we get views, thoughts and feelings from others on our thoughts and views? Wouldn’t it be pleasant if we become inspirational conversationalists ourselves?

“Whatever you are, be a good one.” Abraham Lincoln