“The man who has no inner-life is a slave to his surroundings.” Henri Frederic Amiel

“Why should we think upon things that are lovely? Because thinking determines life. It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment. Environment modifies life but does not govern life. The soul is stronger than its surroundings.” William James

You know that feeling of being ignored when you were having that conversation. You were pouring your heart out there and you were just being ignored by the other person.

I know that feels like a stab in the heart. And I’m not saying it isn’t.

But you can learn from that individual who was completely ignoring you. You can lend your ears to the next person who is going to talk to you – as opposed to you doing the exact same thing.

You become a better person by not dredging up that person who was not listening to you or by not copying the past 20 people who did the exact same thing. Rather than attacking the next person by showing the same behavior that you hated seeing on others, choose to do the opposite.

Become a much better person.

Stop saying ‘You have done this to me, so I am doing this to you’.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung

· Has your friend said hurtful things to you today? (Instead of retaliating in the same way, try expressing your feelings in a calm manner or try silence for a change)

·Are you having a hard time swallowing what you are hearing (either from your colleague, your family member, a friend, a stranger) because you do not agree? (Instead of closing your mind, try listening as an outsider, try listening to what you are hearing with a different lens)

·Are you afraid of taking action because someone has failed in the endeavor that you want to take? (Instead of following the crowd, try following your own path, try creating your own path)

Every time you are giving your driving seat to someone else, you are essentially making yourself powerless.

If you say that you are in control, look again to your actions.

·If you become angrier than the person who made you angry, then you have chosen to give your power to the other person.

·If you keep on ignoring your friend out of spite because he was ignoring you the last time, then you have chosen to give your own power to your friend.

·If you are being passive aggressive and using sarcasm to talk to your colleague because he has hurt you in some way, then you have chosen to give up the power that you have of communicating clearly.

·If you have decided to become cruel (I say ‘decided’ here because if you are not thriving to be kind every day, then you have decided to be the opposite) to everybody around you because people have not been kind to you and you have forgotten that we are all intensely flawed, then you have chosen to give your own power to become inherently good to others.

·When you tell yourself someone has it better than you, you are never even getting the full picture. Focusing on the outsideessentially makes you powerless.

·If you are continuously feeling blue, irritated and anxious when you are around someone (like a family member, a colleague, a friend, a romantic partner), then you have chosen to give your own power of owning your own emotions to others whim.

I prefer to be powerful.

Even if turning the question onto me is painful, even if it makes me responsible, even if it means I have to do something – I prefer to be powerful.

So, ask yourself:

Why do you continue giving your power to someone, anyone, when your peace, your happiness, and your best self is found within you?

To Your Inspirations,

Banchi