The least you can do for yourself is everything.

Innocence and perfection were the diamonds that symbolized her. She was a little girl who loved herself through all her imperfections. In what she considered the metaphor of life, she was too busy devouring life to be bothered by things like mistakes and failures that stood in her way. Her messiness was a reflection of her. Not her surroundings.

Here’s a little girl who made herself a rock-solid best friend.

And, she made space for what she loved.

Mistakes were part of her life. But she did not see them as a price to pay for living life fully.

It did not bother her that she did not have perfect hair like some of her friends did. Her hair was a reflection of her beauty. It did not bother her that she is not as smart as her little brother is. She never once thought of withdrawing her love because she was jealous of her brother.

Puff. Jealousy is for grownups. Not for her little soul.

Her capacity to love her family was unparalleled. She cried when she was hurt. She allowed herself to let it out. It was because she did that she was able to get up and move on as if nothing happened.

She kept on loving herself.

Holding on to herself, cocooning, and giving herself the opportunity to process her emotions was the thing that made her feelings not bottle up inside of her.

As a little girl, she lost control all the time. When she was left behind at a school game or did not understand numbers. But she loved herself even when she was appearing helpless.

She might lose her center or be broken down but she never turned her back on herself.

Her crying was sincere and uninhibited. Whether she cried from joy or sorrow, she was a little girl entirely being human and natural.

She participated fully in the emotional grandeur and poignancy of life.

Until she became a grown-up.

Over the years, she began to love herself less, feel small, and self-sabotage. The tiniest mistakes become the reason for self-doubt.

The story of her life changed as she starts seeing the crack and refusing to see that is where the light comes in.

She made mistakes and saw them as flaws. She closed up. She stopped talking about her feelings. She stopped crying, suppressing her emotions because she did not want to be labeled as a weak woman.

Now she couldn’t have arguments or even discussions without becoming inexplicably irritated.

What’s wrong? Why do I lose my cool easily? Why is so overwhelming being me?

Why don’t I love myself anymore?

The stakes were high.

Over the years, she inhibited herself from being her young self who loved life and herself fully because she feared the emotional intensity of being an adult, losing control and appearing helpless.

Over the years, she transformed from a girl who loves fully to a woman who is terrified to process her emotions. Resulting in their stagnation and festering.

Over the years, she forgot the little girl who faced and took on the intensity of love, loss, and a whole glorious gamut of human emotions in between.

You love yourself again when you question yourself, what happened to me?

Why did I forget the little girl in me?

Because in the words of Anais Nin:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

You love yourself again when you realize that your feelings towards yourself are the lens through which you perceive the world and they color everything.

You love yourself again when you take a good hard look at the photo of you when you were a kid. That kid did not hold grudges. She did not know what resentment is. And she never got bitter. As soon as she processed the emotion, she let go and started again.

That little you forgave without realizing that you were forgiving. You forgave because you did not know how to blame yet. You forgave because you just wanted to have fun in life and you can’t have fun in life if you are busy hating other people.

You love yourself again when you let go of your resentments for no other reason than you deserve to enjoy life.

It is not easy to walk away from a fixed mindset and change. It is not easy but you have to because even if the road ahead is full of hurdles, you know who has got you? You.

You love yourself again when you change the things you tell yourself. Every time you hear yourself say I can’t do that, I don’t have that, I’m not good enough, you set aside some time to talk to yourself. You give time to yourself, spend time alone, and learn new things. That voice is trying to keep you safe but sabotaging your life to do so is not the way.

So, you say ‘No’ to negative self-talk.

You love yourself again when you start resisting your instinct to suppress emotions. You have spent your adulthood years denying yourself crying. You assumed that was for the weak.

It is not.

You love yourself again when you allow yourself to go through all emotions and realize that emotions, when unprocessed, acidify and become corrosive.

You love yourself again when you cry without judging. You love yourself again when you are ready to lend your heart to those around you, ready to face and take on the intensity of love and loss.

Just like you did when you were a kid.

You love yourself again when you teach yourself to love again. To ask yourself, Who am I? What do I want? What do I like? How do I feel? And take those answers seriously.

You love yourself again when you start giving your thoughts weight again.

The people around you could hurt you and blindfold you so you would never be able to look at other opportunities and shackle you so you would never move forward. But you love yourself again when you start sternly telling yourself things that belong in the constructs of your limited world “this has happened to me and I am not going to recover.” And realize that feelings live beyond the constructs of your limited world.

You love yourself again when you realize that your shattered heart will mend. You thought that you will be heartbroken forever. And look. You will be horrified when you say this and will feel like you don’t understand, but soon, very soon, you won’t be.

You love yourself again when you realize that feelings change and the fact that they do is what breaks you and the fact that they do is what saves you.

You love yourself again when you begin undoing the practice of worry, anxiety, and guilt you have been practicing since you became a grown-up. You were foreign to these emotions when you were a child. You love yourself when you crave that little child to show himself in your adult life. You love yourself again when you realize all these negative emotions are useless, fretful, and circular.

You love yourself again when you consciously remind yourself that you are not half of anything. You were created whole. You don’t need a man. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying men aren’t wonderful (because they are) or that they are not worth your time (yes they are). What I am saying is that no one is worth giving up you.

You understand it’s frightening – really, you do. But the only thing you can do to keep on loving yourself is be open and completely vulnerable and trust that you are worth loving.