We want our workspace to be free of sexual harassment and other forms of discrimination.

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The harassment started with blatant flirtation.

On Zoom meetings, he exclaimed, “Wow, you look really good in that top! Your voice sounds sexy this morning!”

“Stop flirting with me,”  I begged.

He did not listen. He then sent me a sexual message to my personal email. He wrote, “I heard Black women take care of a man’s need. What do you say? Want to take care of my need?” I wrote back on how inappropriate his email is.

To this guy, no is not a complete statement.

A day later, he took screenshots of me during Zoom meetings and circulated my picture among his friends, pairing them with a derogatory and sexually explicit statement implying that I was engaged in sexual acts.

You don’t have to work in close quarters with someone to be sexually harassed. You can be in your own home, working on your kitchen table.

Still…

Online harassers barge in your home. They violate you. You shiver uncontrollably as if they are standing in front of you.

The only witness?

Your kitchen table.

No one is there to witness virtual harassment.

Since the coronavirus outbreak, harassers are finding ways to invade your privacy in your own home in a way that they couldn’t do at the office. When someone acts badly, whether intentionally or not, it’s less likely anyone will be there to step in and address the problem.

So I was shocked when I reported my harassment and someone from HR asked for evidence.

Seriously.

Do they want my kitchen table to talk? I didn’t have a colleague next to me when he sent me sexually explicit messages.

Most of us are working from home in pandemic-imposed stress. We have become Zoom boxes or text bubbles on our computer screens.

How is it that when we report virtual harassment they ask us to provide witnesses? Don’t they know when someone harasses us online, other office mates aren’t present as witnesses? Martha is not here in my kitchen when someone makes a racist joke. Steve cannot give testimony to his friend’s harassment.

So asking employees to provide witnesses when we are working remotely is a joke.

In online platforms, harassers come in many forms.

Some are strangers who leave a comment on your article and call you a slut for talking about women’s rights. Some are colleagues who waited until a pandemic hits to call you nasty names. Some are bosses who wink at you even though they see the ring on your finger.

Some are supervisors who ask you for sex and refuse to take no for an answer.

Had these people been standing next to you, they would not have dared to harass you. But behind screens, violating someone is easier. Oh, yes, some people are cowards who hide behind screens and harass others with no shame.

For these kinds of people, virtual platforms are convenient ways to harass people. They know these platforms do not have easy ways built-in to flag inappropriate behavior or content and report it to management or human resources. Even if you know your harasser as I do, there is not much you can do.

This is why for most of us…

Working from home feels unsafe.

Before the pandemic, I marched in HR offices when a male colleague groped me from behind. I would call on witnesses who would collaborate on my story.

Now, I’m witnessing people who harass people will find ways to harass you even if you’re sitting in your comfortable chair. One inappropriate message you receive from someone can suddenly chill you to your bones.

The harm is worse when your harasser is in a position to fire you. Like mine is. I am a Black woman. He is white. I am a woman. He is a man. He is also one of my supervisors. He can fire me with the snap of his fingers. For days, I was so terrified that I stared into space for many hours before I could even tell someone about it.

This is the problem with virtual harassment: you wonder what to do.

If a boss hates the color of your skin, he can blatantly give you a racist remark. When you point his act, he smirks. It’s hard to tell HR a boss’s smirk dimmed the light in your living room.

You experience harassment in your own home, making your sanctuary unsafe.

When I talked about this issue with colleagues I trust, some of them are confused. They don’t get what virtual harassment is. Words can be harassing. Images can be harassing. Threatening behavior can be harassing. Anyone who uses race, gender, seniority, or socioeconomic status to make you uncomfortable online is a harasser.

He or she has made your virtual workspace feel unsafe.

Here are a few examples:

. Unwelcome comments about your appearance, demeanor, or physical surroundings like someone making an inappropriate comment on a religious decoration on your wall.

. Snide commentary.

. Jokes of sexual nature.

. Race-baked jokes.

. Eye rolling or yelling during online group meetings (such as via Teams or Zoom).

. Uncomfortable or repeated questions about your identity.

. Requests for dates or sex.

If you have experienced or are experiencing one or more from the above list, don’t stay silent. Report the issue to HR even if you find out they don’t have your back.

Even if they ask you for witnesses.

In my case, I have reported to HR. So far, nothing. Apparently, my employers can rely on me for my teaching credentials, but I cannot rely on them.

I wish I’m embellishing.

But I’m not.

People I work for did not have my back, but strangers did. When I published my experience on LinkedIn, women from all over the world emailed their personal experiences to me. They relate to my story that we are seeing more harassment on chat and email and video conferencing.

Remote workplace harassment is worse for women.

I’m sure men get harassed too. But it is worse for women. We talk about women’s equality. We talk about giving women equal opportunities. And yet, some people treat women like their punch bags online.

You don’t believe me?

You don’t have to take my word for it.

Research backs me up. 52% of women have experienced some form of harassment or microaggression since the pandemic hit us. These harassments include: our judgments being questioned because we are women, disparaging remarks about our physical appearance, race, or communication style.

Like my harasser, some men still assume women will remain silent when someone treats them badly. This is especially true in a remote workplace environment where women are unlikely to report their harasser.

Remote workplace harassment is worse for people of color.

If you are white and have friends who are people of color, ask them about this issue. Remote workplace harassment affects your friends more than you.

My Asian friend has her own story.

She confessed to me how last year had been hell for her. Her colleagues discussed Asian association with the coronavirus. They acted uncomfortably around her. As a result, she became quieter on Zoom and reluctant to turn on Video during a call.

According to research, my friend shared with me, 58% of Asian Americans said,

“It’s more common for people to express racist or racially insensitive views about people who are Asian than it was before the coronavirus outbreak.”

It’s depressing that no one is doing anything about this.

All workplaces – including virtual spaces – should be free from harassment for all employees.

I can afford to leave my teaching job. But I don’t want to. I will be damned if a supervisor provokes me to leave a job I love. I will keep on shouting until they listen to me.

Most of us don’t feel protected from remote workplace harassment. But we will fight until someone listens to us.

Management in the Institute I work for may not be aware of inappropriate conduct due to physical separation from employees and lack of ability to observe and assess signs of harassment.

Still…

They have a responsibility to stand beside their employees. To not turn a blind eye when an employee reports virtual harassment.

Companies should have a new harassment policy that has a clear statement that applies to spoken or written words, email, text messages, and social media posts. I’m surprised many company owners I know and talked to have no such policy.

Remote workplace is not going anywhere.

If you own a company or are part of a management team, talk with your team. Review your harassment policies. A definition that’s limited to physical touching is too limited. In 2022, we should have policies that cover conducts outside of the physical workplace and in the digital forum.

If you’re an employee being harassed, you’re not alone. Talk to someone you trust about the harassment. Pretending it didn’t happen to you and believing there is nothing you can do about the harassment gives harassers more power.

And protect yourself doing these:

. If you want to stay private, try a virtual background. That way your background doesn’t give up the information you would prefer to stay private.

. Dress professionally. You shouldn’t look like you just came from the shower or a night on the town.

We all want our workspace to feel safe, respectful, and free of sexual harassment and other forms of discrimination.

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