We are defined by how we respond to them.

Blaming a situation is a roadblock to any kind of growth

When I was a teenager, my dad taught me how to play Chess. He would make time after school hours so that we can play together.

I hated it — not playing with my dad, but the game itself: Chess.

In my teen mind, the game was boring, time-consuming, and simply dull.

I would always ask my dad:

“Why are we wasting time playing this thing dad? Why don’t we do something else instead?”

And he would always say:

“You will see the game in a different way one day.”

Years later, I realized that he was trying to teach me a lesson.

 — — — — In order to learn a lesson (or anything for that matter) I must pass through.

Standing on the sideline and wondering what’s going on the playing field is never going to make me a great player or even a surviving one.

That works literally as well as metaphorically. You become a swimmer by swimming in water. You become a writer by writing. You become a painter by painting. You become a reader by reading.

You become good at anything by doing the work — not by blaming “the thing”.

At the end of my university year, there was an opportunity for me to play Chess in a competition among seniors. I put my name there.

I’ve barely tolerated my dad’s lesson when I was home. But now I’m going to play with people who are playing the game 24/7.

Either this was going to be brilliant or I was going to fall spectacularly on my face, but the only way to find out was to take the risk.

So, Chess became my “nemesis”.

The game was the same as it was when I played with my dad. The strategies were the same. But I was not.

Now, I wanted to beat this game. I wanted to be a formidable competitor. I wanted to play Chess like a pro.

So, I practiced. Every single day.

I practiced as if my life depended on it.

What you practice, you get good at.

In the end, I was the 3rd winner in the competition.

The book I was given as a trophy continues to be a treasure to me to this day.

Stop blaming your external circumstances

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” — Gandhi

The only reason you feel like your circumstances or situation has an upper-hand on you is because you are looking at it the wrong way.

Why not bring your focus from the outside to yourself?

The only way you are going to change your circumstances is by changing yourself. You should not expect the outside world to kneel at your feet.

Look where focusing on external circumstances has gotten you. You are having a crisis: looking for a solution for your relationship problems, blaming your country for your circumstances, and blaming your boss for your dissatisfaction at your job.

Fight for what you want

We all know it will be hard, but you know that nothing worthwhile can ever be achieved without giving it your best shot.

You will most likely fail again and again, but so what?

What should terrify us is not trying our best. What should make us cringe from the inside is taking the easy way out.

Henry Ford said:

“Failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”

The truth is this:

You don’t get anything without fighting.

Fight and then see:

A glimmer. A spark. A sprout that maybe, just maybe you’d figure it out, find ways to fight for the future you want. No deserve.

Make room in your heart for continuous growth

“There is no cure and no improving of the world that does not begin with the individual himself.” — Carl Jung

Let’s say I have a cup that I like very much. It is holding something on it all the time. I put on it either water, tea or coffee.

When my cup is filled to the brim I know for certain that I have enough, but if I want to add more I must reduce from my cup first.

This means I don’t get to add any new thing to my cup without making room first.

If your cup is full of previous experiences, past failures, knowledge, pride, ego, and, your perspectives: there is no room for improvement.

You are standing in your own way with all your previous knowledge and experiences. You are holding your previous successes with a tight fist and you are refusing to let go.

You can do that for as long as you like, but that attitude will never make you improve on a daily basis.

By not emptying your cup, you are saying there is “no point” in learning a new thing or learning from your past mistakes.

Instead of putting your life ready for any new learning’s, you repel anything that comes your way.

Your cup symbolizes you.

The fuller your cup, the less likely you’re going to improve on anything.

In the end, you can only grow continuously if you allow yourself to learn from others, the past, and the challenges you are facing.

The choice is yours.

To your inspirations,

Banchi