“I think I’m going to leave my job.” You told her.

“Wait! What? Why would you leave a job that pays well?”Your friend’s face is tight with worry and confusion.

“Because I am not happy.” You try to explain to your friend that even though you earn a good money as a lawyer, lately you have been feeling this void in your heart that refuses to leave you alone.

“What are you going to do?” your friend asks you.

“I have no idea.”

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You have always wanted to be respected like your father. That is why you studied hard and earned your law degree. Law runs in your family. Your grandfather was a legend in his time. Your father has continued the family.

You have always thought the road your family took was also your road to your success.

But lately, you are not feeling successful at all.

Why else would you be looking at other things that make you happy? Why else would you be searching for something that makes you a happier woman when you are already successful as a lawyer?

Lately, you are spending more time writing your frustrations on paper than spending time preparing for your cases.

Lately, you are realizing that you actually enjoy the time you spend writing your thoughts and feelings – either on your journals or your laptop.

Lately, you are finding yourself browsing through the internet looking for platforms to publish your musings.

Lately, you have found true happiness when a reader who has read your article has appreciated you and thanked you for your advice. And you realize that you have not felt this useful and valuable even when you have won court cases.

And you are questioning how you are going to continue writing even when you have a demanding job as a lawyer.

And you find through your quest 2 important things that you have not realized before:

You must define success according to you

Just because your family is pursuing a particular endeavor does not mean that your success is found in the same road.

You realize that you have to shift the lens in which you saw successfrom your parent’s view to yours. When you find yourself enjoying writing and being useful, you changed your lens.

And learned that you don’t have to pursue being a lawyer for the rest of your life – when something else gives you more meaning and happiness.

And you say to yourself:

The meaning of life is up to me.

Not my parents. Not my well-meaning friends. Not my boyfriend. Not my professors. Not my colleagues.

Me.

Life is all about which lens we use to see things.

And your lens is showing you – your love of writing in a clear and focused view – while continuing to be a lawyer is fading in the background.

You reminded myself that you have to start with the woman in the mirror.

You have to change your thoughts from “My grandfather would be proud of what I have become and my father is proud of me.” to “I want to make this woman on the mirror proud of me and happy.”

And ask yourself questions like:

“What do I want? What do I like doing? What is my dream? What does success mean according to me?”

And listen with an open heart to what your heart tells you.

That is when you decide to leave your job and pursue writing. After a close look at your own reflection in the mirror, you realize that you have always been writing at the background. Writing has always been your shadow.

And you can’t run faster than your shadow.

Now you have redefined success. And what it means to you.

Then something happens.

This joy, this unbelievable happiness is bursting through your chest. You are writing every day and you see and feel the sun that you did not see – even when it was right above you.

And you tell your family your new path. Preparing to pass through – regardless of what they think of your change of career (path).

And along your new road, you learn the 2^nd ingredient that is essential to a meaningful success.

You become successful at anything through a process

You can’t believe the number of rejections you have gotten. It is as if the universe is conspiring against you. It is like being inside a hole and you don’t know how to crawl back to the surface.

Through many rejections, you learn:

Life is a series of hills.

It is a series of ups and downs. And the downs are just as important as the ups.

All your friends nag you to give up this writing nonsense: “Go back to being a lawyer. You will never make it as a writer. Writing is not even a real skill.”

Some of them even threaten you: “Grow some sense before the stress gives you an ulcer.”

And close concerned friends ask a genuine question: “Why are you writing every day when you could go back to your previous job as a lawyer?”

And you answer: “This is what I want to do from now on. I want to be a successful writer. Yes, the rejections hurt all the way to the bone, but I will not stop.”

And you tell them that you are becoming a better writer because of the challenges you are facing.

And you quote:

Challenges make you grow. And every process has a challenge in it.

And you keep on writing and developing your skills. You put a lot of wear and tear to your skills as a writer every single day.

And finally, you get a request to be published in major publications on the internet.

And this taught you:

There is no such thing as a short cut. And that you would never have understood success if you had not tasted failure.

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Now, you teach these 2 important lessons to anyone who listens.

You tell them that they have to define what success means to them. They can be a teacher who impacts young children. And be happy. And this happiness might not give meaning to a person who wants to get rich building homes. They can be a sculptor who makes dazzling art with their own hands. They can climb the corporate ladder – if that is what success means to them. They can be a blogger who works at home and be free from the hassle of the corporate world. They can build their own business from scratch. If that is what their lens of success shows them.

You tell them:

Define what success means to you.

And:

Believe in a process.

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To Your inspirations,

Banchi