8 personal touches that, in turn, pay dividends in working relationships down the road.

When Maria’s doorbell rang, she excused herself from the Zoom meeting to answer her door. A delivery guy was holding her favorite flowers, red roses. All her teammates saw her radiant face in real-time.

To be present with her as the gift arrived enriched our relationship in a unique yet emotional way.

When people you work with but have never met in person, start trusting you, it can melt your heart. When your colleagues trust you from afar, you can go deeper with them.

To be clear: I’m not perfect, and I don’t always do the following personal touches with my teammates perfectly. This isn’t about perfection, but about trying to be a good colleague and friend to someone you work with. It’s about being someone people can count on – even from afar.

Here are 8 personal touches to make remote teams rich and trusting:

1. One-on-one telephone sessions.

Yes, email is an efficient way to communicate with your team. But a phone call is a personal touch.

I love frequent short touchpoints.

I’m much better off if I touch base with my teammates three times this week for five minutes rather than one time for twenty minutes. The frequency creates an unbroken sense of connection, as if we’re having an ongoing conversation.

We talk about what someone’s favorite flower is.  

It turns out, this is how all relationships often work, including professional relationships – when the people you work with trust you, a deeper relationship can form.

It’s not enough to say “call me whenever” if you aren’t able to fully concentrate on the person when he or she does. When you’re talking with your teammates, hold space for the other person.

2. Be explicit and ask others how they feel.

“I can’t see your face. What are you thinking and feeling right now?”

This level of personal interest adds a wonderful touch to our working relationships. Because we don’t have the benefit of being face to face, we can’t really see visual cues that tell us how someone feels.

We can ask how they feel, though.

3. Be easy to read.

People don’t trust what they don’t understand.

The people you work with – especially in a remote work environment – can’t pick up on your cues. So be open with your expressions. Put into words what you’re thinking or feeling. If you get quiet during a meeting, explain you’re struggling with an idea, or if you go silent on a call, be clear you’ve paused to take a quick note.

4. Share a bit about yourself.

I have never understood the attraction in mysteries in people. I like open books. I think mystery and obscurity are overrated. I am open about my life. The times I kept every part of my identity and personality from colleagues are also the times I made catastrophic mistakes.

A sense of comfort and familiarity is necessary for a good professional relationship.

You don’t need to divulge your deepest, darkest secrets. But in general, the more you share about yourself, the more others will as well, and this deepens trust. Reciprocity is part of the human condition. Pay attention to the conversations you have with others. You’ll hear people testing the waters – sharing a bit and waiting for you to reciprocate. When you do, they will share some more.

5. Empathize.

In a normal workplace environment, a lack of empathy can already be a challenge. But when people work remotely, empathy is crucial more than ever. Zoom, Google Hangouts, and Microsoft Teams are great technologies. But they have also forced us to show the people we work with our actual home situation.

Everyone has a different home environment.

Some have spouses and children. Some don’t. Some have private home offices while some are taking meetings from the dining room to the couch to a closet. Some are experiencing challenges in their relationships.

Don’t be someone who makes others feel self-conscious about their homes. Be someone who understands the unique circumstances of your remote teams.

6. Enlist professional networks.

The most thoughtful gift my teammates gave me this year is to invite me to a virtual wine tasting. Someone has paid attention when I talked about my love of wines.

It’s important to use technology not just in a transactional way but also to help build rich and trusting working relationships. To build trust, it can’t all be about work. That same technology can also facilitate less formal, and more fun interactions.

Here are a few examples:

. If your remote teammates love writing, you can invite them to virtual writing meetings.

. Those interested in tennis or golf can virtually go to short, personalized video shoots with professional players.

. Those interested in books can join book clubs.

7. Small thank-you gestures.

This simple gesture humbled me:

One of my teammates went out of his way to find me a research material I couldn’t find. I didn’t ask him to do this for me. He did it as a thank you gesture. The day before, he had a family emergency and I had covered his classes.

Sending a generic email about a work anniversary doesn’t have the same effect as a well-planned gift or activity. A thank-you that actually says something has a far-reaching effect.

So write a personalized email, buy gifts, or put together a fun activity as a thank you gesture.

You just might be stunned by how small gestures can pay dividends in working relationships down the road.

8. Keep your virtual door open.

As a team leader, I sometimes call everyone on a video conference to simply touch base. One of my teammates said this to me the other day,

“I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed today; the activities and content were great, but the real benefit for me was just being here with everyone. I’m in South Africa and only talk to people on the phone.”

Just because we’re working remotely doesn’t mean we’re off the hook to be there for our teammates. I’m not saying you should be available to your remote colleagues at any and all times. That’s unreasonable.

Still, make time for the people you work with, even if you’re on the other side of the world.

To your inspiration,

Banchi