Personal Essays

7 Things I Learned From Watching My 32-Year-Old Friend Die With Regrets

“I regret not doing things I should have done in my 20s, Banchi.” My best friend whispered to me on her death bed. Her haunting words were her last words to me. I didn’t know that day would be the last time we would talk. I didn’t check on her the next day because I …

Self

When the Future Feels Terrifyingly Unknown, Reflecting on Your Younger and Older Self Gives You Comfort

Reflection can offer healing, insight, and hope in these troubled times. In the past year, it’s felt like we’ve been pinned to the present; the past felt obsolete, and the future felt terrifyingly unknown. But there’s power in reflecting on our old selves and projecting what we want for our future selves. When your panic …

Work and Careers

How To Do What You Love When School Has Taught You To Regard Work as an Unpleasant Duty

Work can literally be fun — fun like playing. Every night, an expensive SUV drops my friend in front of her home and picks her up every morning. Anyone looking at my friend’s life would find no problem. After all, the company she works for pays her well and she even has a personal chauffeur …

Self

Counting Your Blessings Might Make You Feel Better in These Troubled Times

Even in the middle of a great struggle, there are things to be thankful for. “Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” -Rumi Counting your blessings with clear intention might make you feel better in these troubled times. While I would love to grow old with my best …

Black women

Five Important Lessons I’ve Learned in Becoming a Strong Woman

#2 — Find your voice. Her husband made all decisions in their company. She needed his input for every tiny detail. She spoke only inside her head, nodding to herself. She had no female friends. She showed little emotion beyond biting, cold indifference — unless pushed. Then, sometimes…came violent rage. She treated all her employees, …

Emotional Intelligence

One Book Explains What Everyone’s Getting Wrong About Emotional Intelligence

6 misconceptions worth changing your mind about. Almost everyone has heard of the term ‘EQ’ but most people have no idea of what it really is. My favorite description of EQ, emotional intelligence, comes from a wonderful book, The EQ Edge: “You might be as sharp as a tack, but if you can’t convey what …

Work and Careers

It’s Possible to Have a Full-Time Job and a Full Personal Life

6 ways you can make the most of your time to find balance If tomorrow is my last day on earth, my life would end full — I have friends, family, and a rich personal life that I cultivated through the years. But for a long time, I had no personal life. My family and …

Uncategorized

Your Definitive Guide to Dealing With Emotions Before They Get the Better of You

Emotions are fierce and wild and don’t take well to anyone attempting to domesticate them. I regret every action I took when uncontrollable emotions enslaved me. Just last week, someone standing behind me in a supermarket said something awful to me and I stood there, powerless and hurt. I wanted to smack this stranger who …