They are the package.

You have to knock the door

And enter.

Everybody that you love deserves your deliberate focus and attention.

If you and your significant other are living in the same house but going through two completely different experiences, then you must make a deliberate effort to enter into their world.

I mean, how will you know if you don’t ask and listen to their day?

When you come home and you say “tell me about your day” and then you destroy your relationship when you sit and watch something on television.

You might think that you are there for your loved one, after all, you are sitting next to each other –but wake up.

You might be sitting together, but you are as far away from each other as the North pole is from the South pole.

Your heart is not there. Your brain is not even on.

At other times, you say “let’s hurry up and have dinner so I can go back to my work”.

You make it sound like a form of complicity. It does not matter what your intentions were in those words, but by saying them you’ve made your loved one feel like a chore, a sacrifice, a list to accomplish.

And then you wonder why you feel so distant, so isolated and alone.

What you focus on thrives. If you don’t focus on your love — it won’t thrive

In the words of Michelle C. Ustaszeski,

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.”

Sometimes being there is enough. More than enough.

Your loved ones want to be heard. They want you to listen to what they say. Without any judgment.

Rather than watching the flickering blue light, turn to look at your significant other. Maybe instead of focusing on your phone, go out and take a walk together — leaving your devices at home. Maybe instead of sitting next to each other but apart (because you are both watching television), turn off the TV and face each other.

Now, you don’t have any distractions that steal you from each other.

Do this now, before you become indifferent to your loved one, before you become a stranger.

Spend time with family and loved ones

Love is an act

Kris Gage has written in “Most of what we think as “love” is bullshit”:

“Good love has nothing to do with what they are or what we harvest from them. Good love is the way in which we love them — it’s us loving their very being, us loving their essence, us loving their ups and downs and imperfections and dumb complaints and irritations and short-comings and differences, for fuck’s sake, us loving their decisions — each day”

It is our actions — not just our words that really speak what our hearts feel.

Love is not a quid pro quo.

We often forget that love requires constant action from us for its survival.

It is a priceless lesson we often forget about love.

We lose the love that we have by crossing our arms around our heart and expecting foolishly for the “love” to flourish when we have not given our best every day.

Here are a few examples you can show your love through your actions:

· Send an email or write a personal letter to your loved one.

· Call and speak to them (not just text).

· Go and visit them at their workplace.

·Surprise them with an unexpected lunch.

·Focus on them. Don’t just spend time with them while thinking about your job or what you’re going to do later on. Pay attention. Listen. Really be there.

To your inspirations,

Banchi