Even in the middle of a great struggle, there are things to be thankful for.

“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” -Rumi

Counting your blessings with clear intention might make you feel better in these troubled times. While I would love to grow old with my best friend, to sit outside in our rocking chairs as 80-year-old women, reflecting on our lives, I can’t.

She is dead.

My mind can still bring up a vivid image when she told me the bad news. Her face contorted into a grimace. Her eyes moistened and her shoulders convulsed.

“I have metastatic breast cancer,” my friend said.

There it is. The finality of it. The fleetingness of life. The knowing that this person in front of you – whom you’ve seen laughing, dancing, and hugging – is being attacked from within.

One year has passed since the rogue cells inside her body killed my friend at 31 years of age. We had been wonderful friends since we were sixteen. As we grew up, we shared lots of firsts together. First holiday away without our parents. First serious boyfriends. First homes, and first heartbreaks.

Now, when I wake up to a day my friend no longer lives, I feel the layers of my skin being sliced off. Grief burns every cell of my body.

Pain. Pain. Raging pain. My soul bleeds.

I can rage at the injustice and the cruelty of her death. I can scream at the unfairness of life that was cut short so early. But that won’t bring her back.

What keeps me sane and grounded is counting my blessings. I’ve learned there are things to be thankful for, even in the middle of a great struggle.

I’m thankful for the memories I have with my friend. She had a zest for life. Always ready with a story or a funny anecdote. Sometimes I laugh aloud at the thought of a funny moment we shared.

If you’ve lost a loved one, a job, or your business in these troubled times, this article is for you.

When you lose someone, waves of emotional grief overcomes you. Maybe grief is still shattering your heart. You never thought you could feel this blinding pain. You wonder how your heart keeps beating when you feel it bursting out of your chest.

When we lose people we’re close to, it hurts.

When the hurt feels it can go on forever and you feel like there will never be light, remember your blessings.

Focus on something you have. No matter how small it is. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one. But others who love you can still breathe. You can touch a cold window and let the coldness sip through you.

Loved ones you have lost cannot feel this sensation you take for granted.

You can drink coffee and marvel at its taste. You can eat good food and sigh at how good it tastes. You can take a few minutes to simply stare at a beautiful flower and notice the incredible patterns and colors that not even the greatest artist could re-create.

Never underestimate the power of simple things.

Some of us have lost loved ones. Some of us have closed our businesses. Some of us are struggling financially. And some of us have lost our single source of income.

Still…

There’s something you can be thankful for. Counting your blessings every day is a precious gift. It has a transformative effect on how loss affects you.

Even though I’ve lost a dear friend, I’m thankful my parents are alive and well. I’m thankful for my brother who’s my rock. I’m thankful for my boyfriend. When I curl up like a fetus and sob uncontrollably, he holds me in my darkest moments. He kisses my tears away. I’m thankful I still have a job when many people have lost theirs.

Oh, yes, these are blessings I count every day.

Even though I’m still grieving, these blessings make me feel better.

Every second of every day you get to spend with the ones you love is special. Every subtle action. Every cup of coffee. Every mile you walk together. Every minute you giggle over the phone. Every frame of the intimate video chat you have. Every morsel and every fiber of your loved one is priceless. Value it. Respect it. Call him now and say, “I love you.” Hold her close. Hold him close.

If you can do any of these things with someone you love, you’re blessed.

Whatever you’re struggling with, you’ll get through. Whatever is heavy, whatever is burdening you, you’ll find a way to lighten that load.

When you count your blessings, you’ll realize you have so much to be thankful for.

The cool air comes in through the open window. If not for it, you would suffocate lacking air. Your heart beats to keep you alive (without ever tiring or asking you for a minute to rest). Your legs allow you to fold over so comfortably. Your eyes help you see the world. Your friends. Your family.

Even the tangle in your life is a blessing. It makes you stronger. If not for your struggles, you would have become so soft that life will chew right through you.

When things are difficult, when troubles seem overwhelming, it’s helpful to look back and consider all you’ve gotten through and how far you’ve come. It’s important to remember your blessings, starting with the fact that you woke up this morning.

That’s what I’m hoping for when you finish reading this article. I’m hoping you feel better – because I want to feel good. I’m writing for myself too. 

Write about your blessings. About what it was like to wake up today, about the people you love, about the songs that have lifted your spirits. Write about the wind in the trees, or rebirth in spring, or of freedom. Write about whatever gives you life, which—especially in troubled times, we remember—is so precious.