#1. Find a “real job”

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These awful career advices are like a powerful magnet that warps your belief about your career. They guide you to a career path you don’t like, but others want you to like.

I know this from personal experience.

They told me to find a “real job” when I told them I’ve found a job I liked a lot. To make it a practice to never ask for a raise as “the more money you make, the more you will spend.” To specialize in just one thing – as it was vital to my career success. To think more in terms of what paid well, over what I liked. To never do something stupid like start from scratch in another new career.

My 20 self equated these career advices with magic bullets guiding me to a path where my career would give me happiness.

The opposite happened.

These awful advices locked me in a tower.

Imagine a tall brick tower with no windows and no doors to let happiness in. For most of my 20s, I lived in this tower miserable day in and day out. I wilted, languished, and severed from all the things that made me feel alive. I sat in the tower all day plotting my escape.

When I turned 29, I escaped the tower and ditched the awful career advices that prisoned me. I changed career paths and pursued a career that commands the income I want and a career I love pursuing.

Happy happy happy.

You may relate to one or more of the following 5 awful pieces of career advice. For a happy career, it’s possible to ditch career advices that don’t serve you and create your own career path.

Here we go.

1. Find a “real job”

My college roommates and I video-chatted a couple of days ago. When I told them I’m a professional writer now, they rolled their eyes.

According to them, I don’t have a “real job”.

What is a “real job” anyway? One person’s idea of a real job may be totally different from your own idea. Is working as a freelance writer a “fake” job? What about delivering pizzas part-time to support your startup?

I’ve learned to ignore people like my roommates.

A job is subjective.

A career choice that bounces your feet might make some of your friends roll their eyes. Ignore these people. A job is any career you put time, effort, and energy into. If your job gives you happiness and you’re good at it, that’s what matters.

2. Stifle your ambition

Some bosses have no shame. If you let them, they will exploit your skills, talents, experiences and worth.

I learned this from my worst boss.

I’d asked for a raise after 2 years of selling nutritional supplements to local and foreign clients. My then-boss said, “If I raise your salary, the more you will spend. Ambition is a gauche. You don’t want to be remembered for the wrong reasons.”

What a terrible advice.

You don’t need to listen to people like my old boss. Do your job well. When you feel it’s time for a salary raise or a promotion, ask for what you want.

Never let anyone convince you it’s wrong to have career ambitions.

3. Specialize in just one thing

Last week, I read an article on how we are a million things packaged into one.

Itxy Lopez writes,

“We were made to be multi-faceted. To have more than one talent. To live and experience life as a whole. Not to live and breathe one thing.”

I agree.

I’ve always found many things interesting and it’s in variety that I’ve found so much joy. I’m good at both teaching and writing. My best friend is a lawyer who’s good at defending her clients. She also makes the tastiest dishes for a restaurant she runs with her boyfriend.

We can pursue two or three careers we like. This does not mean we can pursue 10 career choices and be good at all of them. We can’t. We’re human beings with a limited amount of energy. But we can select 2 or 3 career choices and put time, effort, and energy into them.

4. Think more in terms of what paid well, over what you like

If you’re blessed with friends or a family member who advise you to ditch careers that pay well for something you like doing, you’re the exception. For most of us, we were taught to think of our careers more in terms of what paid well.

Maybe for some people this is a good advice. But for most of us, it is a terrible advice.

Even if you are paid lots of money and your work gives you financial security, if you don’t enjoy your work, you’re not happy.

Not by a long shot.

Money is not the answer. Much as everyone thinks they want financial security, the happiest people are not those who have it, but those who like what they do. And liking the idea of something is not enough. You have to like the actual work.

If you want to be happy, you have to do something you not only enjoy, but admire. You have to be able to say about your career, I’ve a pretty cool career.

If you’re wondering how to identify a work you actually like doing, I have a suggestion.

Try your hand at serving your feelings. Have a “to-feel” list for your career. Name your deepest yearnings and aspirations for your career. Take a moment to reflect on each item on your list. Are your priorities, habits, and rituals of your career serving these feelings? What steps can you take to honor the items on your “to-feel” list?

5. If you have a secure job, keep it.

“Don’t do something stupid like start from scratch in another new career.” My father gave me this terrible advice when I was on the verge of quitting my sales job and wanted to start a teaching career.

If you want a happy career, learn to ignore advices that don’t serve you. Yes, you need to ignore even if those advices come from family.

You may have heard of Michael Crichton, a best-selling author, a screen writer, a film director, and a producer.

Before he became a famous author, he had a secure job.

Crichton had graduated from Harvard Medical School. He had a lucrative career as a doctor and researcher.

And yet…

He ditched everything for the unpredictable life of an author.

He did not think he was too old to reinvent himself. He didn’t want to be doing something he didn’t enjoy to preserve his pride.

What about you? Are you staying in a secure job just to preserve your pride?

I’ve learned to reinvent myself like Crichton.

When people see my blog’s success now, they assume I’ve been writing all my life. Nothing is further from the truth. I’ve only been writing since mid-2018. But I’ve been seriously honing my writing skills in this short time.

Obviously, this advice is not for everyone. Some people don’t want to reinvent themselves.

If you’re one of those people, good for you.

But there are also people who want to leave their secure jobs and start fresh. Are you one of them? Do you want to try something new? A new career path perhaps? Or you want to move to another country and start all over again? Or maybe you’ve been thinking of pursuing a creativity project?

If the above questions resonate with you, do me a favor and deafen your ears to those who convince you to keep your secure job.

It’s never too late to reinvent yourself.

If you have the guts to try something new and work at it, you’ll achieve your dreams.

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Takeaway:

Well-meaning people are more than happy to give you advice on your career. The tips (and yes, pressure) that come from loved ones can be some of the worst. Even though they are well meaning, sometimes you need to say “thank you” and ignore the advice.

At the end of the day, it’s your life. You’re the one who actually deals with the consequences and benefits of any given career choice.

Your opinion is the one that matters.

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To Your Inspiration,

Banchi