Every single person on this planet walks around with a unique narrative.

In spite of this fact, all of us walk around constantly interpreting what we perceive in ways that can cause us to doubt ourselves, miss out on opportunities to connect and to learn from our fellow human being.

Isaac Asimov said it best:

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.”

Rather than realizing that all of us are unique in our own way, we sink deeper and deeper in our mires of misperception.

We distort our relationships because we expect every other person in the world to see only what we see.

Haven’t we all met a person who never gets over a particular strife because he is mad the other person thinks and believes an entirely different perspective?

The person with a grudge for everyone else demanding they see only his perspective?

The person who is always pulling teeth to get his way trying unsuccessfully to make others see the world through his eyes?

I’ll have a conversation with my new colleague and convince myself that he hated me. Few days later I found out that it was just my own imagination and perception that led me to that false conclusion. In fact, my colleague told me that he was impressed by the way I deliver trainings and he wants to learn from me.

Or, I will get upset at something my friend said to me during lunch and a day later I realize I reacted that way only because my dad gets angry during disagreements.

In all this nonsensical reason, we forget that every one of us is unique. We all have our own experiences, thoughts and feelings. Because we refuse to see the other side, we lose sight of the big picture. We cling pointlessly to our perception of the world and expect others to see the world with our glasses.

There is no exam that tells us whether our perception is right or the view of the other side is. What we can do is realize a fact:

“Every single person on this planet walks around with a unique narrative.”

Robert Brault said it best:

“Beyond our most stubborn misperception lies often our fondest dream.”

I don’t know about you, but I believe that we can be better human beings if we could only realize that others have their own perspective just like we do.

Here are list of benefits that come from realizing that we all have a unique narrative.

• 1. We will let go of ego.

Psychologists use the word “egotist” to refer to someone whose sole aim is on himself/herself. And more importantly a 100% complete disregard for anyone else. Ego makes us undermine others and destroy ourselves in the process.

If we realize that others also have their own perspective and that they have a right to speak their mind, then we would learn to let go of this inside enemy called ego.

• 2. We will empathize.

Understanding that others have their own story to tell is a way to being emotionally intelligent. Once we start putting ourselves in the other person’s shoe, empathy has become part and parcel of us.

• 3. We will see the other side.

How can we see what the other person thinks and feels when we are intent on seeing only our own side?

Acknowledging that every person has his own tale to tell is a stepping stone to seeing the world through the eyes of the other person. Remember, every coin has two sides.

• 4. We will be able to communicate effectively.

We become effective communicators when we listen to the other person even if we do not agree on what we are hearing. In fact, Aristotle has said that:

“It is the mark of an educated man to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

• 5. We will start listening more.

Thinking the world revolves around us makes us selfish and self-centered. If we see other human beings as unique just like we are, we will start treating them as such.

This understanding will help us in listening to the other person rather than talking endlessly.

• 6. We will learn more.

The problem we all have is that we think we know everything. We think we can’t learn from this person who is telling us a totally different perspective. We ask ourselves:

What is the point of this discussion when we have entirely different views?

If we can get out of our own way, we could learn more. Yes. We can learn a lot from disagreements.

Mahatma Ghandi has said it perfectly:

“Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.”

• 7. We will learn to manage disagreements.

Not taking things personally is the greatest favor we can do for ourselves.

To do that, we must let go of this need to always be the center of attention. If we stop seeing that person who is disagreeing with us like an enemy and stop assuming that his primary job is to attack us, then we would feel very much lighter. And then, we can actually learn something from the disagreement.

• 8. We will feel better.

You become a decent human being when you give the other person the space to talk. Discarding the other person’s thoughts and feelings is the worst thing we do, not just for the other person but for ourselves. That says a lot about our character than the other person.

We feel better when we have healthy relationships with others.

• 9. We will develop the highest emotional intelligence.

Truth be told, we have everything to lose by conveniently forgetting that, others have their own perspective all the time.

Let us stop and think before we open our mouths. Let us control the urge to contradict that person’s idea. Let us try to put ourselves in that person’s shoe and truly try to understand what he is telling us.

Even though we don’t agree, we can understand. We can empathize. People can disagree with each other about things, even important things, and still like each other very much.

• 10. We will be better human beings.

Your willingness to be a better human being in all circumstances determines how well you grow your humanity in your life. The only path between your better self and your worse self is you realizing the fact that every single person on this planet walks around with a unique narrative.

To Your Inspirations,

Banchi